april 3rd

woke up at 9:59 was going to go to lotte early to get nick food for keto, but he broke keto with mcdonalds, night before talked to cella a long time, told me about wacky shernfire visa run. made me so fucking happy to have conversation with someone, the house gets so dark and erre with only me nick and jisoo, feels so baren. Woke up everyones happy, go to stores with cella to find iphone charger, no  iphone charger in korea xd, go to coffe shop, listen to nick,sam,and cella talk about tempo storm stuff, really hope team gates or cs team signs me so I don't have to go to japan, really don't know how I'm going to do with keto meals. I'm going to try hard though. I never thought I would have to deal with making such a fucking specific diet, I play games not cook food. I am going to be a man of all skills though. A man can handle it all, not with ease, but he can handle it. So I will attempt to handle it. Jisoo and cella drinking, sam and nick going for a walk, sam made bathroom smell like shit lol. Miss home so much, I want to be home, I need to be in korea, I don't have good concept on my income, and money I'm going to spend. I need to eat more. Korea definilty doesn't feel like home, and I NEED to talk to people in person. I NEED to have funny heart felt 100% honest conversations with people, and I think that will be my biggest struggle with esports life style, which i'm going to change when my time comes. I think the idea of getting signed and staying in north america, then banking on the money I make and starting some sort of money maker would feel fine for me. I don't know if I really want this esports life style as it stands. I'm giving this feeling 1 week and 3 days then I will act upon it. My body request to go home all the time, my mind feels good about going home, but I rolled the dice high I stay low I go home, high was rolled, so idk. fuck man

wish nick would just work out and be more self focused rather than do stupid fucking keto holy shit my life as a diet/cook wtf am I doing here in this country LOL ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh